7.25.2015

Dumbass Saying: “No Regrets”

One of the most popular phrases people say before doing something really stupid like asking a stranger to have sex or drinking and driving is “NO REGRETS!” A lot of people make this their main creed in life. The idea is that they will do whatever they want so when they’re older they won’t have any regrets about not doing certain things in their life. People fear looking back and wanting to change things that they can’t. The obvious problem with this is you can also regret things that you did actually do. That’s a pretty important thing people forget about. It’s just as easy to regret doing something that was a huge mistake as it is to regret something you decided not to do. If you get hammered drunk and smoke meth while screaming “NO REGRETS!” there’s a decent chance you’re going to end the night with some regrets. Your only hope is that you’ll get blackout drunk and forget, but it’s likely that law enforcement will remember and you’ll have plenty of time to regret in the holding cell. The fact is, you can’t really regret things you didn’t do because you have no idea how they would have turned out. Let’s say you passed up on a great job opportunity. You might want to regret that, but who’s to say you wouldn’t have been hit by a bus on your way to work the first day? That definitely could have happened so you can’t regret what you don’t know. On the other hand, we know exactly what happened when you decided to smoke bath salts and shit in the backseat of a cop car. THAT is a valid regret. Now if you want to say “No regrets” after the fact then that’s fine, but everyone knows you’re lying to yourself.

So you married a rake. That was your choice and you shouldn't regret it.

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