Dumbass Sayings: “The God’s To Honest Truth”

Sometimes you’ll catch your fiancee getting rammed by the mascot of the local minor league baseball team. When you question her about it the next day thinking it may have just been some kind of drug induced hallucinatory fever dream she says “Me and Buzz Buzz weren’t doin nothin! Okay fine he just gave me the tip of the stinger nothing more! That’s the God’s to honest truth, honey!” Alright let’s dissect this... First off, don’t call me honey after you just got done fucking a bee. Also, I think you mean “The God’s honest truth.” And then I think then you mean just “God’s honest truth.” You don’t need to say “The God.” Despite the numerous gods people claim there to be, you’re automatically referencing your own one god when you refer to “god” so that’s a given. If you’re a polytheist, then you would be more specific and say something like “Vishnu’s honest truth” or “Apollo’s honest truth.” Furthermore, you don’t have to say “honest truth.” That’s another redundancy. Clearly if something’s the truth then it’s inherently honest. Basically when people say “The god’s to honest truth” what they mean is “God’s truth” so they could cut three words out of that shit and be saying the same exact thing without sounding so stupid.

Everyone knows god can't lie. That's what the Orb of Truth is for...

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