Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Do People Say Not to Leave Babies in a Hot Car?"

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I always hear people talking about the dangers of leaving a baby in a hot car and they say “Never leave your baby in a hot car!” How about just don’t leave babies PERIOD. Why not just say that? Like leaving a baby in a cold car or even a normal temperature car is acceptable? Are people fucking stupid? Did I miss something? Is it okay to leave a baby in a car if it’s at a comfortable temperature?-- Wendy from Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Dear Wendy:
Well, you’re right no one should ever leave a baby unattended anywhere whether it’s a car, a bench, or a helicopter and of course regardless of the temperature. However, leaving a baby in a hot car is especially dangerous. Realistically, you could leave a baby in a locked car at 65 degrees for an hour and it would probably still be alive when you came back. Obviously that’s a horrible idea and you should be arrested if that happens, but if you left a baby in a hot car, the baby would most likely die which is a lot worse. Therefore it’s important to stress that a hot car is dangerous because you can’t overestimate people’s intelligence. The type of person who would leave a baby in a car won’t listen if you tell them not to leave a baby in any car because maybe they know if you leave a baby in a 65 degree car for an hour it’ll be fine. So if you told them not to leave a baby in a car at all they’d probably answer with a “Shiiiiiit, don’t tell me how to raise my kids!” But if you say “Don’t leave your baby in a hot car” then they’ll go “Oh right, thanks for the reminder. Shiiiiiit. I don’t want no fried baby!” It’s never going to be a perfect world. Babies are going to get left in cars. It’s more important to just limit the damage that’s done than to aim for the ideal situation of 0 car babies.

Always keep your baby properly hydrated, probably not with Gatorade though.

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