Dumbass Sayings: "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth is"

When you challenge someone to a hardboiled egg eating contest they say “How about you make this interesting and put your money where your mouth is!” Why would anyone ever do that? Strippers won't even do this. If you’ve ever tried to put a dollar bill in a stripper’s mouth you know what I’m talking about. You get forcibly thrown out of the club. The reason money in the mouth is so unsanitary is actually because of strippers to begin with. Strippers put money lots of other places like their genitals and anus. There should be a way to literally launder money at home, but no one ever cleans their money. And because dollar bills are made of 75% cotton and 25% linen it’s like carrying around a clump of shitty underpants with you everywhere you go. The fibers soak in bacteria, dirt, and excrement. You have no idea where your last dollar bill came from. It could have come from a 7-11 cashier who took it from a hobo who just used his bare hand to wipe his ass five minutes ago. Everyone touches money and they readily exchange it. Every time you get your change from a store you're touching about 10,000 other people so just putting a single bill to your lips is basically the germ equivalent of letting a person dying of the plague fart in your face. I don’t even know how this makes sense as a figure of speech. Your money can be in a bank account in another country entirely and you can still make a wager. It’s nowhere near your mouth and has no reason to ever be near your mouth literally or figuratively. Your mouth is just where you say things out of. Your brain is where the belief that you can win a bet is held so the saying should be “Put your money where your confidence is.” If you put your money where your mouth is I’ll put my money where my mouth is and bet you’re going to get really sick.

When you think about it, money is basically used shitrags that we just pass around.

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