Ask McFartnuggets: “What’s Stronger: Ice or Fire?”

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Dear McFartnuggets: Once and for all tell me who’s stronger: fire or ice? -- Iris from Little Rock, Arkansas

Dear Iris:
I think you meant to say “What’s stronger?” considering fire and ice aren’t people. To your question, I don’t know why this is always an example of the clashing of elements. Heat and fire is obviously a lot stronger than cold and ice. Besides the obvious thing of fire melting ice, fire can exist in extreme cold. If fire vs. ice was a more even fight then firefighters could take vacations in the winter. There’s even a chemical compound called Triethylborane that has an autoignition point of -4 fahrenheit. That means it turns into a flame at -4 degrees. There’s basically no temperature on Earth that can keep a fire from existing. On the converse, ice will melt on a moderately warm day quite easily. Heat and fire kick cold and ice’s ass every time and people need to stop pretending like this is an even fight or even a valid fight. Who the hell said ice was the opposite of fire anyway? Water isn’t even the opposite of fire. The opposite of ice is not fire, it’s no ice.

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