Dumbass Sayings: “Hashtag”

These days all the kids talk about is hashtag this, hashtag that. Hashtags are like little addendums meant to sort and categorize tweets, but some people will actually use them in normal conversation. The other day I heard a kid say “I don’t think I’m going to make it to school today HASHTAG drugs.” I told my son “You better get to school or else! HASHTAG asswhooping.” Then he said “Screw you, Dad! HASHTAG Emancipation of minors.” This conversation went back and forth for almost an hour and it got very tiring. This hashtag nonsense needs to stop. I remember when hashtag was just a game we used to play as kids while high on hashish. It was basically like a slower version of normal tag. There’s really no good reason to use hashtags in real life or on Twitter. Just include everything you want to say in the main body of your sentence. I know it takes a little effort and it’s easier to just say one thing and just tack on extra words after your sentence to help make more sense of your inane ramblings, but just give a it a damn shot once in awhile, you know, like people used to do for hundreds of years before Twitter. And it’s a damn pound sign. When I hear someone tell me to press “Hashtag” on the phone I wish there was still a cord attached to it so I could strangle them with it.

When you start seeing hashtags in public bathrooms that's a bad sign. I'm here to take an emergency dump, not engage in social networking.

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