Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are My Dreams So Stupid?”

Not all dreams are created
equal.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Last night I dreamed I was in a grocery store counting radishes with Charles Barkley. There was nothing more to it. I was just standing next to Charles Barkley in the produce area of a Whole Foods, counting radishes for what felt like a solid four hours. The weird thing is, when I’m in the dream I think it does make sense. While I’m in the dream I feel like it’s important then I wake up and feel stupid. The other weird thing is I’m not even a fan of basketball. I barely even know who Charles Barkley is. Scientists say the reason we dream is to process information from the day and try to rest the brain and recouperate. What the hell does counting radishes with Charles Barkley have to do with that? How come none of my dreams ever make sense? Why are my dreams so damn stupid? -- Lenny from Rosemont, Illinois

Dear Lenny:

That is weird, but science doesn’t really know why we dream at all. They only have hypotheses. Dreams are a mystery. Some people try to assign meaning to the nonsense we dream. I personally don’t think dreams mean anything because there are dreams like yours which make absolutely no sense and can’t mean anything to anyone. What could your dream mean? I’m sure some people would say your dream about counting represents your subconscious fear of loss, but that seems like bullshit to me. Sometimes your dreams can be obvious representations of your fear and stress, but when it’s grocery store craziness with random NBA hall of famers you have to just give up and try to forget it ever happened.

Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com