Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Most Killers Have Three Names?”

Perhaps the most famous killer
with three names was
Jack The Ripper.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
How come almost every killer has three names like John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wayne Gacy, Charles Lee Ray, etc. Isn’t this a strange coincidence? Whenever I meet someone who uses three names I get nervous because I think there might be a trend of them being murderers. -- Oliver from Miami, Florida

Dear Oliver:
Well, there are some killers who haven’t gone by three names like Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer. In general, a lot of killers are referred to by all three of their names to avoid confusion with other people who happen to have the same first and last name. For example you would never hear of a serial killer name Jim Stevens, they would add his middle name in the news reports so people don’t get worried because there’s a guy named Jim Stevens who lives next door. Now how they would know the neighbor’s middle name to know it’s not the killer I don’t know, but it helps apparently. It’s also to keep people from joking and harassing people with the same name. If they only gave the first and last name then a lot of people’s names would match exactly and that would be bad. If you only share the same first and last name with a serial killer it’s not as bad. If by some chance you share the same middle name too that’s exponentially worse than if they never mentioned the middle name at all, but only a very small number of people ever have to deal with that discomfort. Their severe pain is worth protecting a larger portion of the population.

Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

No comments :

Post a Comment