Ask McFartnuggets: “Could I Just Kiss a Hobo Instead of Get a Flu Shot?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
With all this controversy over flu shots and vaccines that might kill you or give you weird diseases, is it better to just kiss a hobo? I mean if the idea is to expose yourself to a small amount of harmful stuff to let your body build antibodies to combat the stronger illnesses later, shouldn’t we all be making out with homeless people? When was the last time you saw a hobo sneeze? They’re always in pretty good shape considering they’re living in sewers eating rat meat. Clearly they know something we don’t! I’ve never heard of a child developing autism after kissing a hobo, have you? -- Shawna from Philly

Dear Shawna:
I’m not sure that’s such a hot idea. Well I mean it is hot sexually, but you know what I mean damnit. No I’m kidding, no one should be French kissing homeless people as an alternative to vaccinations. You should actually have a vaccination before you kiss a homeless person. Either get vaccinations or don’t, but this business of finding alternative methods is treading into very dangerous water. If you’ve tried it and it works for you then you got lucky, and I don’t mean figuratively. If you got really lucky I hope there was protection involved. I’m not bashing homeless people I understand they need love too, but they get it from each other. That’s why you rarely see a hobo with cancer because their community shares antibodies and you really have to be fully in that community to reap the benefits of the enhanced immune system. You can’t get the best of both worlds, sorry.

Every vaccination has a risk factor, including a hobo make out sesh and turtle soup.

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