Dumbass Sayings: “Procrastination”

Sometimes when you remind your girlfriend she has to get an abortion she says “Sorry I forgot I’ll do it tomorrow. You know how much of a procrastinator I am!” Before you know it she keeps putting it off and putting it off until her water breaks and it’s too late. That’s when you realize that procrastination isn’t actually a real thing. “Procrastination” is just a word that people use as an excuse not to do things and it’s a bullshit excuse. The reason procrastination isn’t a real thing is because you’re always procrastinating in one form or another. There are always things that you’re delaying. You can’t do everything at once. We are all procrastinating right now and it’s part of life that isn’t even worth mentioning unless you’re looking to explain why you didn’t pay your taxes. Even if you think you’re not procrastinating, you are because you’re going to procrastinate eventually which means you’re putting off procrastination. We are always in a constant state of procrastination. And also who the hell decided to spell the word like that? I feel like by the time I get to the “cras” part I want to just give up and pronounce the rest tomorrow. This word must have been a joke that people somewhere along the line people started taking seriously.

Eh, I guess I can do all this heroin tomorrow.

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