Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Help a Drunk Friend Get Home When He Skateboarded to the Party?"

Dear McFartnuggets: 
My friend Rodney always comes to my parties and gets completely hammered. I always make sure to take car keys from people at the door, but Rodney rides a skateboard to my place. After the party he always skates off all goofy like he’s about to crash into a ditch. So far he’s made it home every time but I fear one day he will be hit by a truck. Whenever I try to call him a cab he ollies away. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, but do they let them skate drunk? -- Gavin from Hopedale, Massachusetts

Dear Gavin:
No, friends don’t let friends skate drunk. I would call him a cab and tell the driver where he lives so that Rodney can hold onto the back of the cab while on his board and ride home. That way it’s a little safer than just drunkenly skating home and yet he still feels the extreme rush of being a skater. It’s a win/win situation as long as the cab driver doesn’t have to stop abruptly at any point during the drive home. Good luck!

Friends don't let friends nollie kickflip backside lipslide drunk.

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