4.28.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Does That Ring Any Bells?”

Sometimes when you’re at the club and a woman you don’t remember ever seeing before says you slept together. She shows you a clit pic and says “Does this ring any bells?!” Ringing bells? How is that phrase supposed to make any sense? Are memories a series of hollow, cup-shaped metal objects? What is my mind, a belfry? Is that why this woman resembles Quasimodo? I must have been really drunk! Now I know sometimes revisiting the past can be very painful, but not “ringing a giant bell in your cranium” painful, that would be excruciating. Also, when you get your “bell rung” that’s a slang term for being smashed in the skull. The last time I checked, severe head trauma was not a great way to reminisce. If you want someone to remember something you should never ring their bell unless they have amnesia. Even then it’s still probably not advisable to beat someone in the head with a blunt object.

Town criers should have photographic memories with all the bells they ring.

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