Ask McFartnuggets: "Should I Pay For My Dog’s Abortion?"

Dear McFartnuggets: 
My dog Belinda, a 6-month-old Jack Russell has gotten pregnant by some asshole collie who just boned her and ran off. I know 6 months is too young to raise kids, she’s basically still a puppy herself, she’s got absolutely no life experience to draw on to help these kids have proper lives. Now I believe dogs have the right to chew, but I don’t know about the right to choose. Do they have a Planned Parenthood for dogs? I know we can always just give the babies up for adoption, but that feels weird to do. I don’t want to just throw puppies in a box and leave them on the street like some people do. What is the responsible thing to do? -- Nicholas from St. Paul, Minnesota

Dear Nicholas:
Most veterinarians won’t perform dog abortions. It’s still a very controversial procedure even in blue states. Generally what the vet has to do is completely spay the dog and remove its entire uterus and the fetus comes along for the ride. Is it morally wrong for a dog to get an abortion? There is a popular belief that all dogs go to heaven so it shouldn’t be a problem. As Bob Barker says, the pet population is always out of hand so you should never let your dog have babies. Why create a life just to give it up and let it suffer in poverty and pain? I know all dogs deep down want to be strays and live in the wild chasing animals, but it’s still wrong to flood dog orphanages with puppies and add to the dog hobo population.

Some dogs aren't ready for parenthood, but that doesn't mean they can't get help.

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