Ask McFartnuggets: “Will Listening to Mozart During Sex Make The Baby Smarter?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I heard that if a woman listens to Mozart when she’s pregnant it will make the baby smarter so what if we listen to Mozart during sex? Will that make the baby SUPER smarter since it gets a head start? -- Patricia from Lafayette, Georgia

Dear Patricia:
No studies have conclusively shown that listening to classical music will increase the intelligence of a fetus. I don’t think any tests have been done on classic music being played during conception, however I think it’s safe to say that wouldn’t have an effect. Sperm don’t really have ears or a brain so the Mozart wouldn’t be affecting them in any way. The only effect this could possibly have is on the mood of the people engaging in the intercourse. From what I’ve noticed, babies conceived during stressful situations like rape rarely end up being extraordinary scientists. I think that may be more due to societal and cultural factors, plus they have half the genetics of a rapist. So while it is possible that relaxing music could help, there’s certainly no science to support that. If you can bang to classical music, more power to you. If that’s what you prefer then go for it, but don’t do it thinking it’s going to make the baby smarter. Personally I prefer Debussy. For my money, nothing beats Debussy when you’re hittin’ dat pussy.

If we only knew what Mozart's parents listened to when he was a fetus.

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