Groucho Voted America's Favorite Mustache

In a recent poll of some sort Groucho Marx was voted as having the best facial hair by Americans, narrowly beating out Wilford Brimley and the guy in the Heineken Light commercial. The poll was inspired by "Movember" the facial hair growing holiday sponsored by "Move-on.org" the anti-9/11 truther organization.

Alright I just made all of that up, I don't know why the fuck people were voting on facial hair icons. All I know is that the scariest thing about this story is that Charlie Chaplin was voted best facial hair by Germany. Creepy. What was it about being in silent films that made mustaches necessary? It's like if you can't talk a mustache is a prerequisite just to make up for the lack of sound coming out of your face.

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