How Old is Too Old To Sit on a Mall Santa's Lap?
"My mom was going through old photos and said she thinks one of my old Santa pictures was me sitting on my fiancé's dad's lap. I took a closer look and was like, 'Oh my God. That's Liz's dad." Chris was 13 at the time, and says he only went to the mall to appease his 3-year-old sister.
So this kid was sitting on Santa at the age of 13. Most people would probably be too embarrassed to sit on a grown man's lap at that age, but how old is too old to sit on Santa's lap? If it's the REAL Santa then you're never too old. But if it's a MALL Santa, then I would probably say 35-years-old.
Ages 0 - 5: Sitting on Santa's lap is nearly mandatory.
Ages 6 - 10: Sitting on Santa's lap is still fun, but you're beginning to gain cognitive faculties.
Ages 11 - 13: This is a grey area where you are still apparently allowed to sit on Santa, but you're reaching the tail end of your Christmas lap sitting career.
Ages 14 - 17: This is probably the most awkward period of time to sit on Santa's lap because you're in the prime "To Catch a Predator" demographic.
Ages 18 - 21: At this age, unless you're mentally handicapped you shouldn't firmly believe enough in Santa to be comfortable sitting on a grown man's lap at a mall in front of parents with their children, but you can get away with it if you have a terminal illness of some sort.
Ages 22 - 34: The only time you can sit on Santa's lap here is if you're under the influence of drugs, but it is still possible if the Santa is a good sport.
Ages 35 and up: Sitting on Santa's lap is no longer pleasurable for anyone in the equation and therefore it can no longer be done even for irony's sake when you're older than the actual mall Santa.