Ask McFartnuggets: “What The Hell Does Auld Lang Syne Mean And Why Do People Sing It?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Why do people sing Auld Lang Syne at New Years? What does that even MEAN? Why do people sing things when they don’t even know what they mean? It’s such a weird sounding phrase. It feels weird to sing especially when I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. They got that part that says “Should old acquaintance be forgot.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? Am I supposed to forget everyone I met the past year? I don’t even understand what any of this is supposed to mean. -- Tynisha from Queens, New York

Dear Tynisha:
It all comes out as drunken gibberish anyway. It’s a Scottish song so that explains part of it. “Auld lang syne” literally translated means “old long since.” I doubt anyone knows that or understands the words, but that’s inconsequential. When you’re drunk as hell staring at a giant lit up ball slowly descending wearing sunglasses that say 2015 and about to make out with a complete stranger who may or may not even be a random crackhead on the street, logic and reason are not necessarily foremost on your mind. And as far as the “Should old acquaintance be forgot?” part, that’s actually meant to be a rhetorical question within the song meaning no we shouldn’t forget old acquaintances. Again, this is very poorly stated within the actual lyrics and it’s a ridiculously old song. Would I pick a song in modern English that people actually understood and knew the words to? Sure, but it’s just a fun tune that’s easy to play and people like doing the same shit every year so it becomes a tradition. I can’t really explain it any better than that.

New Year's Eve, the one day we're all Scottish.

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