Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Didn’t Kevin Invite The Homeless Pigeon Lady Into The Plaza Hotel?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
At the end of “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York” Kevin runs out into Central Park to give that homeless pigeon lady a turtle dove christmas tree ornament as a Christmas gift. It was a nice heartwarming moment, but then his room service bill is discovered and he has to run away leaving the pigeon lady in the park alone again for the rest of her life. What the heck is that all about? Why didn’t he invite her back into the hotel room so she could have a nice warm meal and a shower? Surely the parents would have liked to meet the woman who saved their son’s life. He was about to be shot by Joe Pesci before she intervened. I just think it’s fucked up that all he gave her was a turtle dove. Yes it meant she finally had a friend, but I was under the impression that she didn’t want any friends so to all of a sudden thrust her back into giving a shit about people without any support net underneath her is really messed up. You’re playing with a person’s life when you do shit like that. That’s not good. -- Deborah from Madison, Wisconsin

Dear Deborah:
Let’s clear one thing up, yes Joe Pesci was about to shoot Kevin, but soon after we see him try to use the same gun on the pigeon lady and it jams because it’s full of brown jizz. So technically, Kevin would not have been shot even had Joe Pesci been allowed to pull the trigger. That aside, you’re right it would have been nice for Kevin to at least extend an offer like that. However, you have to remember that her friends are the pigeons. That’s her life. While she might have enjoyed a shower and a nice meal, she would have to return to the pigeons anyway. She made the choice to live like that and that’s something you need to respect. It’s arrogant to think that all homeless people want to live a sheltered lifestyle. Some of them choose that life and the pigeon lady from “Home Alone 2” was one of them.

Pigeon Lady don't need your damn charity.

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