The Top 5 Alternatives To The Mile High Club

Even planes can join the
Mile High Club.
Nearly everyone has heard of the Mile High Club by now. It’s an imaginary organization you join once you’ve had sex with someone in an aircraft that is sustaining a cruising altitude of or above 5,280 feet. It's a nice club, but it's not for everybody. If you have a fear of flying then there are certain lesser known, more exclusive sex clubs and here are the top 5:

5. The Mile Deep Club
Also known as the 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea Club, this is a very elite club where you have intercourse in a submarine. Due to the limited access most people have to submersibles most members are in the Navy.

What happens in the sub stays in the sub.

4. The Mile High While High Club
A lot of people in the Mile High Club also hold dual membership in the Mile High While High Club and don’t even know it. As the name suggests, you join this club when you have sex in an airplane flying 5,280 feet above the ground while being really stoned on any form of narcotics.

It's never a good idea to get figuratively AND literally high at the same time.

3. The 2 Foot High Club
If you’re looking to get into a sex travel club and you’re on a budget the best one to try to join would be the 2 Foot High Club. No, that’s not code for sleeping with a dwarf. It’s the club you join when you have sex in a sedan or even on a bicycle or motorcycle. It seems less spectacular than having intercourse while blazing through the sky in a metal bird, but when you factor in the difficulty of driving while having sex it is actually a pretty exclusive and technically illegal club.

For an added challenge, use a car that doesn't have cruise control.

2. The 15 Foot Deep Club
If copulating in an airplane or car isn’t to your liking there’s always the 15 Foot Deep Club. Probably the most disgusting of the travel sex clubs, this is the club you join when you have sex in a subway. No, not the restaurant, that’s much more difficult to get away with. I’m talking about a underground train. Many homeless people are members of this club so it’s not the most prestigious and your risk of getting Hepatitis is pretty high, but it’s always accepting new members.

This is the wrong tunnel of love.

And the number one least known sex club is...

1. The 6 Foot Under Club
There is a lot of controversy about this club. Some people think it’s the club you join if you engage in necrophilia. To some that may be the case, but I try to think of it in a less horrifying way. To me, the 6 Foot Under Club is when you have intercouse in a locked coffin that’s been buried six feet under dirt. I actually doubt anyone is in this club yet. Intercourse tends to use up a lot of oxygen so this is incredibly dangerous. Maybe this could be David Blaine’s new “trick.”

If you can't get a room, try a coffin.

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