Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Opening an Umbrella Indoors Bad Luck?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
How come opening an umbrella indoors is considered bad luck? I heard it has something to do with Chinese people believing in evil spirits. Why exactly is it bad luck? Who decided this? -- Brenda from Allentown, Pennsylvania

Dear Brenda:
There’s really nothing that’s bad luck, it’s just superstition that people made up hundreds or even thousands of years ago that people still believe because the beliefs have been passed down. When we look at these superstitions today they seem incredibly stupid, a lot like the dumbass outdated sayings people still use in their everyday lives. Opening an umbrella indoors is seen as bad luck because it’s unnecessary. It’s basically like wearing a hat indoors. It was seen as bad manners back in the old days and no one liked people opening umbrellas in their house so they made up stories about it being bad luck. That’s probably where the Chinese evil spirits thing came into play. Whenever you wanted to scare people generations ago you could just tell them evil spirits would eat their soul or haunt their lives and they would stop doing things. If only it was considered bad luck to rape someone or engage in domestic violence, but hey opening umbrellas indoors might have been a much more pressing issue at the time. Apparently walking under ladders and breaking mirrors were much bigger problems than murder or being an asshole. You’d think evil spirits would be more against those things, but the people who invented superstitions had their priorities all out of whack and now we live with their bullshit to this day.

Opening your umbrella indoors is like having a boner, most people don't want it in their house. That doesn't mean it's bad luck.

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