Ask McFartnuggets:”Why Are So Many People Arachnophobic?”

Look at this kid, dangling
a spider in blackface.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
As a person who works with spiders at an arachnid observatory I am a huge proponent of arachnid rights. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen displaying arachnophobia in public. It’s mindboggling to me how in the 21st century people still have these ignorant beliefs about spiders. Just because they have eight legs doesn’t mean they’re disgusting or scary. People always say “Oh well it’s okay to be arachnophobic because spiders don’t have feelings.” Are you serious? Do you realize how arachnophobic that sounds? This is what people said about Blacks and gays decades ago and thank god people realized that’s untrue. What we need is a spider civil rights leader to help promote the idea that spiders are people too and they need to be treated with respect! It’s just sickening how many people openly announce they’re arachnophobes. It’s not something to be proud of. -- Mandy from Springfield, Illinois

Dear Mandy:
Well, spiders aren’t technically people. They don’t know they’re being hated so that gives people the freedom to hate them openly. I know that sounds arachnophobic to you, but scientifically it’s true and I’m not bending science here like a racist might. It’s a completely different thing. As far as a spider civil rights leader, I’m not sure how that would be possible. Even if they had a W.E.B. DuBois or a Harvey Silk, spiders can’t really talk or write so it’d be difficult for them to express their mission statement. Now I know again that sounds like I’m an arachnophobe or arachnist saying that they can’t speak, write, or read, but it’s true. It sounds very harsh and offensive, but these are just true facts. That’s why people are openly arachnophobic. Maybe one day arachnids will rise up and claim their civil rights I kind of hope that happens for them, but until then sadly many people will be arachnophobic and showing their arachnophobia in public.

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