12.29.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “All Dogs Go To Heaven”

A lot of people believe the old saying “All dogs go to Heaven.” This is the idea that when dogs die their soul transports to a happy afterlife where they run around and play for all eternity. Now even if we were to assume that dogs have souls (which many people dispute and science has not prove that even humans have souls) why would ALL dogs go to Heaven? Even the ones who chase children and bite them to death? Even those tiny ones that bark really loud for no reason and scare an old lady into cardiac arrest? You could say that because the dog doesn’t have any concept of morality it shouldn’t be blamed for killing someone because it’s just acting out of instinct, but from what I’ve been told, a big part of going to Heaven is understanding morality and choosing to do the right thing. So if you’re not in a position to choose and decide the moral course of action in a serious situation like that, what gives you the right to go to Heaven? Heaven is supposed to be a reward for good behavior on Earth. Dogs have no concept of that so for them to be included in it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Maybe if a human is going to Heaven they can request that their dog’s soul be transported over as long as it was a good dog, but aside from that I can’t see dogs getting an automatic pass into Heaven, let alone ALL DOGS.

We all know dog heaven would be made of bacon and of course that's not kosher.

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