Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does Guacamole Turn Brown So Fast?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I love guacamole. The only problem is it goes bad too fast. I can literally watch it turn brown and rotten in minutes if I just leave it out on the kitchen counter. Why does guacamole do this? What is guacamole’s problem? Is it tanning or something? It’s like a reverse Michael Jackson, it wants to turn brown! -- Ricardo from Atlanta, Georgia

Dear Ricardo:
Guacamole has to turn brown fast, if it didn’t it’d be too hard to tell when it went bad. Guacamole already looks like a baby diarrhea and sinus infection mucus smoothie when it’s at its freshest so if it stayed like that for days you might eat it thinking it’s fine. The reason it turns brown is because avocados oxidize quickly when exposed to air. It’s a good thing guacamole turns brown though, if it didn’t it would be like fish and you’d never know when it went bad. Since fresh guacamole looks like severely turned mayonnaise, it has to go one step further to look nasty when it’s actually going bad which nature decided would be turning brown. I hope that clears this up.

Awww, someone sneezed on my burritos!

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