5-Hour Energy Responsible For 13 Deaths

It should come as no surprise that 5-Hour Energy like any other high caffeine product can threaten your health by putting undue stress on your heart. However, what you might not know is that in addition to 13 deaths one of the incidents the 5-Hour Energy corporation is reported being responsible for was a "spontaneous abortion". This is curious. First off, why would you take 5-Hour Energy when you're pregnant? Isn't the point of this shit to keep you awake at work? Why are you at work? Just go to sleep, bitch. But it is strange that 5-Hour Energy would cause an abortion. If Mitt Romney were President I think sales of this stuff would go through the roof as an alternate abortion method, but unfortunately for prospective 5-Hour Energy investors, President Obama offers women reproductive freedom (whatever).  Still, I think 5-Hour Energy could be something to look into if one was looking for an abortion in a state where it's not legal or widely supported by people. So if your daughter has been vomiting a lot after she said she was legitimately raped by Uncle Todd and is buzzing around like a hummingbird, you should know 5-Hour Energy might be the reason why.

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