Hostess Cupcakes Going Out of Business

A lot of people are lamenting the bankruptcy of the Hostess company, mostly the obese and pothead populations. Then there are also some women who think this is a big blow for women in the business world. Did Hostess go out of business because it was a woman and not a male host? No probably not. No one would have bought "Host cupcakes" that sounds like it has parasites in it. This has to be some of the worst news EVER for an overweight pothead. This is their Hiroshima. Just when Amendment 64 was passed and it looked like recreational marijuana was finally gaining traction, this crippling hit comes to rain on the parade.

The good news is that in this poor economy there is a huge investment opportunity created by the death of the Twinkie. Twinkies are golden for a reason. Buy as many boxes as you can and hold onto them. Because Twinkies are made to last forever due to all the preservatives pumped into them, these treats will stay fresh until they are highly valued relics. Now true there aren't many incredibly rich obese people for whatever reason, but there have to be some and imagine how much they would be willing to pay for 1,000 boxes of the last Hostess Twinkies ON EARTH. That's a major cash windfall for you all because you had the foresight to make a solid snack cake investment. The other good news is that the CDC recently reported that in 18 of the states they examined, the number of people with Type 2 Diabetes has risen by 100% since the last time they checked. So Hostess picked a good time to die, but could it be too little too late?

We can only hope another company buys the Twinkie recipe and makes them exactly the same because if there happens to be an apocalypse, Twinkies would be the only remaining food source on the planet. The fact that they will no longer be produced severely threatens the survival of the human race. So buy as many Twinkies as you can, throw them in a closet and wait for the value to skyrocket. If anything you'll have a solid food supply after the aliens show up and death ray blast the planet.

1 comment :

  1. Well put ,,,,,,,,check out ebay,,,,, just type in box of twinkies,,,, you won't believe this !