Is It Legal To Change Your Signature?

Your signature is an important thing. It's what lets FedEx and grocery stores know you're who you say you are. It gives you something besides a penis to write on someone's cast. But signing the same thing over and over again can get boring. Some people are under the impression that it's illegal to change your signature because of how important it is, but the right to sign your name however you want is protected by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. How else could Prince change his signature from "Prince" to that symbol? Did he write that symbol when that was his name? Probably. Of course he ultimately went back to Prince because just imagine trying to draw that shit on those new electronic signature pads with the plastic stylus. That's a fucking nightmare.

I'm always changing my signature to whatever I feel like because signing "Binkie McFartnuggets" can get tiring and let's face it, most of the time whatever you write is illegible anyway. Sometimes I'll just make a line, sometimes I'll color in every damn pixel in the drawing area, sometimes I'll draw a tree on fire! That's the beauty of America, you can literally do anything you want as long is it's too stupid for people to care about. Right now my current signature is a stick figure orgy and you'd think me telling you that would be threatening my security, but you can't draw it the exact way I do. Do I add cumshots? Who knows. I'll never tell! Even if you knew the details, which stick figure is squirting, which is in doggy style position, it really doesn't matter because I'll probably just change it tomorrow. I've found a way to beat the system and so can you!

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