11.15.2012

NYC Psycho Nanny Who Killed 2 Kids is Indicted

Worst Nanny Ever.
Shortly before Hurricane Sandy occurred and people had bigger things to worry about, a New York City woman came home to find her her two children stabbed to death in a bathtub. The nanny who stabbed them, Yoselyn Ortega, then stabbed herself and has since been indicted for the murders. I think it's safe to say this woman tops the list of Time Magazine's Worst Nannies of the Year. She's far and away the winner of the 2012 Popular Mechanics Worst Nanny Ever award. Who stabs two kids to death in a bathtub?! They're not even YOURS. When you hear of kids dying in bathtubs it's always their own mother who kills them, who the fuck are YOU? You're a nanny! Let me tell you something, if you want to stab children, the profession of "nanny" is probably not for you. If you're that frustrated with your job JUST QUIT. I know the economy is bad and you're gonna want to stick around until you're fired while you find something else, but Jesus Christ, madam! This type of behavior is uncalled for.

A nanny who wants to stab kids to death in a bathtub is like a Subway Sandwich Artist who becomes nauseous at the sight of cold cuts. It's like a zookeeper who holds an odd personal grudge against koalas. It's like a chimpanzee on bath salts. It's like a narcoleptic cheerleader spotter. It's a disaster waiting to happen is what I'm saying! Now I'm not saying the mother had any idea this would happen, but see this is why you have to check Angie's List. For instance, if this picture here is the only one someone can show you of themselves that's a big RED FLAG. Could there be a creepier photograph? Has this woman been near a digital camera in the past fifteen years? That's suspicious. Let this be a lesson to people when choosing nannies. You have to dig into some weird places before selecting the right nanny, but it's worth it for the life of your children.

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