"I Want My 2 Minutes Back!"

Whenever I read the comments on some YouTube video of a guy fucking a honeydew melon there's inevitably loads of comments that say "I WANT MY FORTY MINUTES BACK!" First off, you should be praising the fact that I lasted that long. Second, if your time is THAT important to you, what the hell are you doing sitting there watching YouTube videos?! Shouldn't you be out using that time on something more noble and satisfying? The bottom line is if you're browsing around for pumpkinfucking videos on the internet your time is automatically worthless. You're better off just saving the extra five minutes it takes you to type a sentence and moving on to the next ridiculous thing you're going to stare at.

Using the sentence "I want my eight minutes back!" is indicative of a lower intellect. Did Einstein or Da Vinci watch videos of a cat licking its balls and proclaim "I WANT MY 30 SECONDS BACK!"? No, and odds are even if they could have they wouldn't have. A smarter person can articulate their complaints much more effectively. If you're upset at someone stealing your time by you willingly clicking on a video and using that time to watch it to the end, guess what? The return policy is VOID. No one eats a 5 Dollar Footlong that tastes like shit and says "I want the 5 minutes I used to eat that sandwich back!" You ask for your money back or for a better sandwich, but in the case of a free video there's been no such commodity to purchase. Even IF there was, you already ate the sandwich, there's nothing anyone can do about it now. If your time is so valuable I suggest you bail out before a shitty video ends (like anyone with a brain would do) instead of watching it to its conclusion then spending additional time making an absurd request that is impossible to be fulfilled.

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