Cyber Monday is Bullshit
The only "Cyber Monday" I'll be engaged in is having cybersex with my Malaysian pen pal while I brag about all the awesome deals and human teeth I got on Black Friday. Black Friday is one of the last events in America where you get to really test your skills and will against some of the biggest, scariest, angriest women you've ever seen in your life. If I can knock the shit out of THEM, then that confidence carries over throughout the rest of the holiday season. When I hand my stepson a Playstation Vita that I know I murdered seven people in cold blood for, well that just makes that gift that much more meaningful. It's not always the actual gift that matters, it's what a person went through to get it. And as long as Black Friday remains one of the most lethal days in annual American history, every gift I give will have something special about it.