The Coca-Cola people are
hearing a lot of criticism since they started a new campaign claiming
their low calorie drinks are part of the solution to the obesity
epidemic in America. Can drinking Coca-Cola really help stop obesity?
Not the way it is now, but it could! All we need to do is legalize
cocaine and have Coca-Cola reintroduce it into their recipe. When was
the last time you saw a morbidly obese cokehead? You don't need to put
in lethal amounts, just enough to get someone to stand up every once in
awhile and chase a raccoon around their trailer while swinging a shovel a
couple dozen times. That's a total body workout that's sure the make
the pounds melt away. Sugar gives people energy, but it's not the good
kind of energy. It's the kind of energy that can be easily reserved so
it goes unused and becomes fat. Cocaine does not become fat. If anything
cocaine turns into broken dreams.