While the vast majority
of people assume that crabs can't feel pain, scientists have recently
completed experiments that prove they do. Of course in order to find
this out they had to torture crabs themselves, but I guess if it helps
stop future abuse of crabs it's fine, right? Too bad that's never going
to happen. Look, I really don't care if crabs can feel pain or not, once
you decide to set up shop in my pubes and make my Ground Zero of Lovin'
itchy as hell then it's on. I actually hope you do feel pain so you can
feel at least a fraction of what you made me feel when I burn you out
of my bush with a candle. Of course I'm joking, the study wasn't about
my crabs, it was about the seafood crabs which basically means Red
Lobster is the shellfish equivalent of World War II concentration camp.
Animal lovers get upset about how crabs are chopped open and how
lobsters are boiled, but pick your battles. Yes Red Lobster is a house
of decapodian death, but cows and pigs can actually smile at you and a
dozen just had their throats slit just this second. Wouldn't fighting
against THAT be slightly more important than fighting for the civil
rights of a crawfish or prawn?