The Death of "Monopoly"

Ever since Rich Uncle Pennybags from the Monopoly game announced he will be sending one of the famous gamepieces to death row, it's been obvious that the Parker Brothers are trying to make one last gasp before board games are officially a relic of a dead age. What Pennybags is doing is very similar to what Arnold Schwarznegger and Sylvester Stallone are doing making weird action movies as one last hoorah before disappearing into the ether of time. It's sad because board games teach kids a lot of great lessons. When you play a board game there's an honor system involved, you have to discipline yourself, and be patient by taking turns. These are all virtues that will be lost on new generations, but who can blame kids today? The whole point of board games was entertainment so picking video games over Monopoly is a no brainer. It's like have to choose between sex with a state-of-the-art robotic artificial vagina apparatus or an old rain boot full of cream cheese. The cheese boot does have its charm and maybe older people will remember when that's all they had and give it a bang every now and then just for nostalgia's sake, but overwhelmingly the choice is the cyborg pussy. I don't know why the boot feels the need to update its laces.


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