1.27.2013

Flame Retardant Being Taken Out of Gatorade

Brominated vegetable oil (a flame retardant and emulsifier) is being removed from the Gatorade formula thanks to the petition of some vegan girl. Fortunately it's still in Fanta and Mountain Dew. People say that it's unnecessary in Gatorade as an emulsifier because people can just shake the bottle to evenly distribute the flavors that may settle at the top, but you can't do that with Fanta or Mountain Dew! Go ahead and try it! I DARE YOU!

The fact still remains that now drinking Gatorade will no longer prevent you from experiencing spontaneous combustion. Spontaneous combustion is a real thing, especially after too much Taco Bell. I guarantee that the next time you just ate three servings of cheesy bean burritos and hit a random static electrical charge you are going to wish your intestines were swimming in Brominated vegetable oil, but some vegans ruined it all for you. Why would you even check to see if vegetable oil wasn't vegan or not? People are getting way too paranoid these days!

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