Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Get Rid of My Gag Reflex?”

Taming the gag reflex
is fighting generations
of evolution.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
What are some things I can do to get rid of my gag reflex? I want to be good at porns. -- Joanna from Arlington, Texas

Dear Joanna:
Okay first off, it’s not called “porns” with an ‘s’ at the end, it’s just “porn.” Second, you can slowly put cucumbers down your throat a little at a time until your throat just stops caring. Third, you shouldn’t get rid of your gag reflex. It’s an important part of human physiology. There’s an actual reason we have a gag reflex and it’s to keep foreign objects and harmful things out of your bodies. By getting rid of that you might become the next great thing in porns, but you risk some serious medical emergencies in the future. Imagine how many porn stars have died by accidental poison ingestion because their gag reflex was gone and their throat just swallowed all the poison without involuntarily trying to regurgitate it. You don’t hear about that at all, but it is a serious risk. Take my advice, don’t get rid of your gag reflex. If anything, join vomit porn or something.

Ask your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com.

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