Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Golf So Popular?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Hey why is golf such a popular sport? All you do is hit a tiny ball with a stick then slowly chase after it and try to hit it into a tiny hole. It’s like billiards except on a giant football field. Who the hell thinks that’s a good way to spend their time? It’s basically like croquet. In croquet you use a mallet to hit a slightly bigger ball through hoops instead of into a hole. They’re practically the same sport yet croquet isn’t popular at all. Imagine if croquet was as popular as golf. Can you even imagine that? People would look at other people playing croquet all day and think “What the hell is that person’s problem?” It wouldn’t make sense for croquet to be a globally popular sport, yet golf is and no one sees this as a problem? I just don’t get it. -- Wally from Nevada

Dear Wally:
Golf is popular because it’s more a game of luxury than a sport. It fits a perfect niche between hobby and sport. When you play golf you aren’t doing much strenuous activity, yet it’s considered a sport by the media so you’re technically an “athlete.” People who aren’t athletes really love it when they can call themselves athletes. It’s popular because its core participants (rich people) have control of the media. When you have that, you can make pretty much anything popular. If they wanted they could make croquet the most popular leisure sport, but golf is already here and there’s only room for one major boring sport, as long as you don’t count baseball or soccer.

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