7.08.2014

The Top 5 Biggest Clues That Bruce Wayne is Batman

Batman loves takin
selfies.
One of the biggest questions that gets asked about Batman is “How the hell do the people of Gotham City not know he’s really Bruce Wayne?” You have to suspend your disbelief in order to enjoy the comic books and movies, but sometimes the evidence can be so obvious that it’s almost impossible to ignore. Of course the reason a real Batman couldn’t exist is because we’d know who he was in less than a day and all his enemies would burn his house down and kill his family. If you really lived in Gotham City it would be really easy to figure out who Batman was and here are the top 5 biggest clues:


5. Batman uses expensive gadgets that only a billionaire could afford.
When people see the Batmobile and the grappling guns and different devices that Batman uses they have to assume they cost millions upon millions of dollars. You’d have to assume only a super rich guy would be able to afford that sort of stuff so that means Batman must be one of Gotham’s richest men. When you exclude all the old bastards who clearly couldn’t be Batman, you’re probably only left with a handful of young billionaires and we all know it’s not Mark Zuckerberg.


4. Physical similarities
No one ever really gets a great look at Batman, but after a few years we could probably establish his height and estimated weight. He’s Caucasian so that’s going to help narrow things down a little. Then there’s the whole matter of the exposed mouth and chin. While that seems to be generic enough, if Batman were to be cut on the chin in public and we saw Bruce Wayne walking around with a chin bandage the next day that would probably be enough proof for more people.


3. Bruce Wayne probably smells like bat shit.
Most people forget that Batman spends a lot of his time in the Batcave. He’s down there working on gadgets, doing research, etc. Meanwhile it’s a dank, musty cave full of thousands of bats. Surely that stench has to wear into his skin. Maybe one day he has to rush to Wayne Enterprises from the cave and smells like he’s been swimming in guano. That has to be suspicious. To anyone who had ever been to a bat habitat at a zoo before, they’d know exactly who he was.


2. Bruce Wayne is never around at night.
Isn’t it a tad suspicious that Bruce Wayne isn’t around at night when Batman goes on duty? Sure the night is when people sleep, but if you’re a billionaire you can pretty much live by your own rules which means you can stay up and party and do all sorts of wacky nonsense. Not Bruce Wayne. Once 8 PM hits he gets tucked in and that’s that. Sure he’s lost lots of business deals around the globe by not being around when it’s daytime in other countries, but Mr. Wayne needs his sleepy time!


And the number one biggest clue that Bruce Wayne is Batman is…


1. Batman is never around during the day.
This is a lot like number two on the list except way more glaring. You’d think criminals in Gotham City would catch onto the fact that Batman only shows up at night and therefore start doing all their crimes during the day. That’d be a pretty foolproof plan. That would force Batman to start going out in the day and that would then expose himself and leave him more vulnerable to identification. It would also be weird when Bruce Wayne had to leave business meetings when news of a bank robbery or shooting came through on TV or on people’s phones. Daytime is Batman’s kryptonite.

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