Dumbass Sayings: “Hubby/Hubsy” and “Wifey”

Talking like a toddler
won't make you
For some reason women at work always love talking about their “Hubsies.” This is the word they use for “Husband.” They show you photos and say “This is me and my hubsy at the animal shelter euthanizing rescue kittens” or “This is me and hubby dumping the body of an undocumented worker who had a bath salts overdose in our backyard while working on our new garage addition.” Look I don’t have a problem with you and your husband doing things together, but as long as you’re telling me about it let’s use English words. Married men aren’t free of guilt here either. Their nickname for a wife is “Wifey.” Their abbreviation of the word “Wife” consists of adding an extra letter and making it longer. What is it about marriage that turns people into braindead zombies? The monotonous lifestyle and feeling like there’s nothing else to do with your life other than cultivate offspring? PERHAPS. That’s still no excuse to be butchering the English language. Now if a woman is legitimately dyslexic I’ll look past the whole “Hubsy” thing because it’s not right to make fun of people with disabilities. If she’s not dyslexic then there’s no excuse for just switching letters around in words. Say “Husby” or something. I don’t know why people feel the need to make cute little anagrams. You’re damn near 50-years-old, you’re not a toddler. You stopped calling spaghetti “Pasghetti” so there’s no reason for you to be calling your husband “Hubsy.” How do you expect your children to take you seriously?

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