7.22.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “Made From Scratch”

Sometimes people say “I made these cookies from scratch!” Scratch? No you didn’t. You used dough like everyone else does. You can’t make food from “scratch.” You CAN make marks on your skin from scratch. You can make horrible disfiguring scars from scratch. My cat made a scar on my face from scratch the other day. I don’t go around bragging about it. You can’t even make pubic lice from scratch. They have to come from somewhere else first. Then they rub off into your pubes and THEN you scratch. The scratch part comes afterward. Now if you’re a DJ then you can say “I made my DJ career from scratch.” That’s the only time you can use this saying while still making sense. Let’s just stop saying things that don’t make sense.

If you're talking about "making things from scratch" you better be talking about horrific nipple wounds.

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