Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay to Breastfeed the Homeless?”

Someone looks thirsty!
Dear McFartnuggets: 
I’ve been looking for a nice original way to help feed the homeless. I’ve tried buying them sandwiches and pizzas, but nothing really made me feel truly happy. Once I became pregnant five months ago I realized as my breasts grew that I could breastfeed people. I knew I had found the answer! I could breastfeed the homeless! What more perfect a way is there to give back to these people who are so underprivileged? The one minor issue I’ve experienced with this is the looks that other people will give me when I’m feeding one of the homeless like at a bus stop or on the train to work. Am I missing something? What is so bad about feeding the homeless? I’m giving them the support no one else did or will! It’s okay to breastfeed the homeless, isn’t it? -- Cassandra from Atlanta

Dear Cassandra:
Well, they’re your breasts I can’t tell you what to do with them. Personally I would fear getting some kind of disease. If the homeless person was teething and bit down too hard they could break skin. You have to understand this is not a normal behavior, sadly. So people will react negatively toward it. I commend you for what you’re trying to do and I’m sure you’re making a lot of hobos very happy.

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