Ask McFartnuggets: “Can Women Get Happy Endings?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I’ve heard all about how men can pay extra to Chinese women at massage parlours to get “happy endings” where their forbidden zones are stimulated to release. Is it possible for women to get happy endings too? P.S. Keep up the good work! -- Johanna from Palm Springs, California

Dear Johanna:
Thank you for that. I’m fairly certain you could work something out if the price was right. There would only be a few hurdles to jump over. The first one would be, how exactly are you going to be massaged as a woman? When I go there it’s fairly obvious what needs to be massaged, at least I’d like to think so, but when you’re a woman there are more than one ways to skin a cat. Will you be scissoring? Will there be a dildo involved? All these things can complicate matters when there’s a language barrier. Meanwhile, a simple HJ is a subtle, non-verbal activity which is how this has become so popular. Secondly, you don’t see that many Chinese lesbians around so I’m not so sure how they feel about that kind of thing in general. You might luck out and get a lesbian or bisexual, but culturally speaking they must be a little conservative on that kind of stuff. Keep in mind, I’m only talking about Chinese massage parlors here, I’m sure when you’re getting a massage from an American woman it’s no problem at all.

Happy endings don't have to be gender specific.

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