Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Get My Son to Stop Watching Online Porn?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I’m a mother of a 19-year-old boy named Kolin and last week I walked in on him watching online pornography. I was shocked and it was a very uncomfortable situation. We had a talk and he confided in me that it wasn’t the first time he had viewed this “porn.” My question is how can I get my son to stop watching online porn? -- Steven from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania

Dear Steven:
What would you rather he be watching offline porn? If that’s the case I would introduce him to Blu-ray which to be honest provides much crisper video quality and an overall enhanced viewing experience. You could also go the analog route and start purchasing adult themed periodicals. It’s old school, but I believe that having an actual hard copy of filth builds a certain amount of character. Everything is digital now and we lose a part of our humanity when it turns out we’re just pleasuring ourselves to a bunch of 1’s and 0’s. Whatever happened to good ol’ ink and paper? Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a National Geographic with my name on it, from 4th grade. I wrote my name on it in magic marker.

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