Dumbass Sayings: “A Slice of Heaven”

When people eat a really good piece of pizza or cake they say “It’s like a slice of Heaven!” How can you slice Heaven? Scientists aren’t even convinced Heaven exists and you’re already cutting it up and eating it? You’re digesting Heaven? Think about that. Why would you digest and then eventually defecate a slice of Heaven? That means after you eat a slice of Heaven you end up pooping out Heaven. Do you really have the hubris to think your butthole has that capability? That seems incredible disrespectful. How big is Heaven anyway? I’m guessing gigantic. It might even be infinite. How can you slice infinity? What would a slice of infinity look like? More infinity? If something really was a slice of Heaven your mouth would explode and you would die. When you woke up your tongue would be floating through space and you’d be in Heaven unable to speak for all eternity. That doesn’t sound very pleasing now does it?

Do they let you have cutting tools in Heaven? That seems like a bad idea.

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