2.14.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Hi There!”

When you’re walking by a group of courtesan streetwalkers on a pleasant summer’s eve one of them will usually ejaculate “Hi, there!” Women love to say this for some reason and I don’t know why. What is the purpose of saying “Hi there!” Is anyone ever confused as to where the hi is being directed? Oh thank you for clarifying. I wouldn’t know you were aiming your hello to me if you didn’t tell me where you were launching it. No, obviously when a person says something in your direction that in and of itself would act as the word “there.” The appropriate response to “Hi there” would be to say “Hi here!” Of course that sounds bizarrely stupid. So saying “Hi here” is dumb, but saying “Hi there” isn’t? Something is very wrong with that.

I think we utilized Santa a little too late in Afghanistan. Who knows how things could have been different if he was sent in early on.

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