2.28.2015

Dumbass Sayings: "I Wouldn't Sleep with You if You Were The Last Man on Earth!"

When you're having dinner with a lady and you ask her if you can to back to her place and "get the party started" she will sometimes say "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth!" Well that's a very interesting scenario. First off, no turn down should involve the portrayal of a dystopian future. There's just no reason to go there. No sexual rejection should include the prospect of a deadly extinction level pandemic, zombie apocalypse, or sentient military drones. But I'll humor you. Let's pretend I am the last man on earth. If I'm the last man on earth then I'm gonna be getting some action one way or another. I won't need you! I'm sure there will be plenty of other attractive ladies who will want to help continue humanity with me. I'm assuming this because the decision not to would be insane. You said if I was the last man on earth you didn't say if we were the last two people on earth. Next time phrase your insults properly.

Okay, have fun banging goats! Though, I have to admit, this goat does seem charming.

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