Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does Assisted Suicide Exist?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Assisted suicide is illegal in most states, but I don’t even know why it exists to begin with. If you really want to die then there are much better ways to go about that than to have a doctor kill you. Why don’t these people just go to Asia and take a few Malaysia Airlines flights or maybe they should ride the Metro-North train back and forth. It’s pretty hard to survive in regular everyday life so why is it a challenge to die all of a sudden? Just do the opposite of what normal people try to do in order to stay alive. Why do people need to bring a doctor into this with suicide machines and all this stuff? -- Regina from Asbury Park, New Jersey

Dear Regina:
You have to keep in mind that a lot of the people who are interested in physician assisted suicide are people living with immense levels of pain. Usually they’re in physical states where their bodies remain alive, but they can’t do much else other than to survive in tons of pain so living becomes torturous. As we all know, usually when you want something you don’t get it and when you don’t want it that’s when it arrives. The same thing applies to suicide. People who really want to die rarely get into accidents, if they did then they almost wouldn’t even be called accidents. Instead, it’s the people who are trying to survive and go about their daily business who always die in freak accidents, train crashes, and plane crashes. It’s just one of those weird ways life works. Now while it seems flying in Asia is one of the most dangerous things to do these days, if someone who was terminally ill and trying to end their life on their terms wanted to “vanish” on a Malaysia Airlines plane they might have to take several dozen, possibly hundreds of flights and when you’re living in such physical and emotional anguish, flying isn’t exactly the best thing to help your situation. It probably would work eventually, but you’d be spending loads of money and torturing yourself even more in the process. When people go to a doctor to kill them it’s just a lot more clinical and cleaner and it allows them to leave with some peace and dignity. It’s a shame that in 2015 we’re still fighting for our rights to a physician assisted suicide. The right to die is really no different than the right to be gay married so hopefully people will realize this and we can get some laws passed sooner than later.

Traditional suicide machines don't offer you a hot towel.

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