Dumbass Sayings: “Dog Person/Cat Person”

Sometimes when you catch your uncle drunkenly shitting in the local elementary school’s playground sandbox your aunt will say “Well, he is a cat person…”  One of the most bizarre things about contemporary life is how we classify everyone as either a “dog person” or a “cat person.” When people ask me if I’m a cat person or a dog person I bite them on the neck because I’m BOTH. Yeah that’s right, I equally enjoy cats and dogs. I don’t have a preference. I guess I’m bisexual when it comes to animals. Well without the sexual part, usually… Why is it so insane to like both cats and dogs? Why do you have to love dogs and despise cats or vice versa? What the hell is the matter with people? And why are “dog person” and “cat person” even phrases to begin with? You never hear someone say they’re a “parakeet person” or a “guinea pig person” or a “ring-tailed lemur person.” Why do cats and dogs get their own type of persons and the beluga whale does not? That’s speciesism and this is 21st century America and I won’t be a part of it!

Somebody enjoys cats...

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