Where Does Mitt Romney Go Now?

After losing the 2012 U.S. presidential election, Mitt Romney is heading back to his mysterious subterranean cocoon docking station for more upgrades. More upgrades might just work. In 2008, John McCain wanted Sarah Palin running with him over Romney. In 2012, Romney almost won the election. In 2016, perhaps the next version of Mitt Romney will do the trick. But Mitt has a big problem standing in his way in 2016, a very big problem: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Christie is a HUGE favorite in the next election because he's an intelligent and capable person who just happens to have large natural bosoms and that's a rare combo. Mitt certainly has his work cut out for him again, will he even run? We know Paul Ryan's going to be running, whether it's for President or twelve times around the circumference of the Earth in less than five seconds in an attempt to time travel and rig more voting machines.

I wouldn't blame Mitt Romney for not running for President again. It'd probably be way more fun to just get a shitload of wives and enjoy the rest of his life in stress-free comfort like a normal person would in his situation. But if that urge of greed that led him to such success as a businessman still lives inside him, he might be back. Sure Mitt has been a flip-flopper, in fact he just recently said he didn't really want to be President anyway, but the point is he's got silver sideburns that look like maxi-pad wings and they're hypnotizing.

All we can do now is pray earnestly for Mitt Romney and his poor family who must be feeling the worst they've felt since, well since now. Pray for President Obama and pray for America, but don't do it the way Mitt did, he probably prayed to win the election and we all know how that turned out.

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