11.06.2012

Who Are These Undecided Voters?

Undecided voters have been facing a lot of criticism by both Democrats AND Republicans alike because it seems absurd that a person could be living in America and not have some sort of idea which candidate deserves to be President more than the other. I think a lot of undecided voters are just like anyone else, if anything maybe they're thrill seekers.

Everyone knows voting in a Presidential election is exciting, but imagine how much more exciting it would be if you registered to vote and stepped into the voting line at your polling station on Election Day not knowing at that moment who you were going to vote for! The thoughts that must be swirling through your head, the pressure, the decision has only minutes to made. Who will everyone else vote for? Who cares! Who will YOU vote for?! It's always fun to never know what you yourself are going to do, that's why getting blackout drunk is so much fun.

I actually voted completely shitfaced drunk once when I was an undecided voter, just to surprise myself with my own actions. It would have worked too except I knew something was wrong when I got inside the voting booth and couldn't find any of the levers or buttons. I futzed around for what seemed like hours until the alcohol started to wear off and I realized I had wandered into a women's fitting room at JC Penney. I was subsequently arrested and later released on five hundred dollars bail. I guess the stupidest thing about the whole mess was that it wasn't even Election Day, it was Columbus Day and to this day I'm not entirely certain I was even in America at the time.

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