Ask McFartnuggets: “Are Zombies Technically Still Humans?”

It's best to treat zombies
like decomposing cannibals.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
Why are people always trying to decapitate zombies? Aren’t they technically still human? What about them isn’t human? They must be humans still, they just not “alive” except maybe they are alive because they’re not “dead.” If they were dead it wouldn’t be a problem, but they be up and moving around biting people and what not. That would mean they’re alive human beings. If that is the case then why are people trying to kill them all the time? That’s just flat out jacked up! -- Trayneice from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn

Dear Trayneice:
That is a valid point, Trayneice. That is certainly a very valid point. Fortunately zombies aren’t real. However, if they were then I think we should all remember that they are indeed humans and we should try to decapitate the least amount possible in case a cure is ever found. It would be awkward to cut your zombie mother’s head off and then an hour later find out a cure was discovered. That would likely take a lot of time to get over.

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