8.02.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “Remind Me To Get Roses When I’m Near Any Flower Shop”

In a new commercial for Cortana, the equivalent of Siri for Windows Phones, the man says to his phone “Remind me to get roses when I’m near any flower shop.” His marriage anniversary is coming up so he needs his phone to remind him to get flowers for his wife. Are people really this helpless? How long do we have to wait until phones can just live our entire lives for us while we just sit in an incubation pod floating in amniotic fluid? Shouldn’t it just be enough for your phone to remind you when you’re near a flower shop? Even that is a little ridiculous. How can you not tell you’re near a flower shop? Usually they have flowers in the windows or even outside the storefront. IF you need a phone to tell you you’re near flowers then you’ve probably got bigger problems than remembering your anniversary. Why should your phone have to remind you to buy roses? Is it not enough to be reminded to go to a flower shop and then be notified when you’re by a flower shop? You really have to be reminded to get roses? If you need this many prompts and reminders I think you have to consider the idea that maybe you don’t actually care about your wife that much. If you really loved your wife then you’d just know to go out and get roses and you might even just go out specifically for that instead of have it be an afterthought that your phone as to remind you to do. Where is this technology taking humans? How many loveless marriages is the Windows Phone going to keep limping along? None of this should be good news to people. Either you give a shit about your wife or you don’t.

Maybe I'm thinking too much like a woman, but isn't the idea of flowers the fact that you remembered to get them in the first place?

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